People Are Annoying

If you are pregnant, or have been pregnant, I'm sure you can relate with this one. At some point during pregnancy, you go through a little phase of hating people. Unless you're like me, then the phase is your whole pregnancy. I'm not a people-hater when I'm not pregnant, but maybe it's just the hormones or maybe it's the fact that my ass is growing just as fast as my belly. 

Everyone you come across seems to have an opinion, expert advice, a question, a judging look or even a habit that will make you want to punch them square in their nose.

There are the people that seem to be the expert in YOUR pregnancy because their friend's sister's cousin was pregnant 12 years ago. They constantly tell you what you should and should not do, what not to eat, how to raise your kid, and how to diagnose your every issue. They will also be able to tell you the sex of your baby and the due date. Makes me wonder what I am paying a doctor for when I have all these free experts around? Also, the people that tell me that I shouldn't be drinking caffeine at all can shove it. I am allowed my 250 mg of caffiene a day and to the next person who gives me a dirty look for ordering a skinny latte- I won't be hesitant to poke your eyes out with the stir stick. Unless I have a bottle of Smirnoff in my hand, huffing a cigarette, or am snorting a line then keep your expertise to yourself. 

There are the people that want to make rude comments because they think it's funny or they are just jerks. "Are you sure there isn't two in there?" "Wow. You're huge!" "Time for the stretchy pants, eh?" "Your hips are really starting to widen." "Wow, you already popped!" No Sir, I'm actually only 9 weeks pregnant and have to poop. Comments and questions like that don't even upset me. They just make me hate your face. It amazes me that people have the nerve to say these things. Is it suppose to make me feel good? 

There are the people that want to ask you every personal detail even though they just met you 5 minutes ago. "How much do you weigh?" "How much did you weigh before?" "Do you plan to breastfeed?" "How long do you plan to breastfeed?" Or my absolute favorite "Was it planned?" No, I tripped and fell on a penis. Why would anyone think that is any of their business, especially if I barely know you?

 

Then, there are the people that stare. You have the guys that stare at your huge rack and massive cleavage that isn't even yours anymore, the people that stare with the confused look on their face saying "Is she pregnant or fat?" and the women who stare at your belly and slowly make their way towards you just to rub it like a magic genie is going to pop out. I have made the mistake of asking a women if she was pregnant once, turns out she wasn't and I felt like an ass. Lesson one, don't ask. Lesson two, don't stare at their belly with a confused look on your face because it is pretty obvious what you are thinking. 

The worst part of this is that I am only 21 weeks... That means I have to deal with this for 19 more. I'm sure I haven't even heard the half of it. So if you are reading this and are one of those people, think before you say anything to a pregnant woman. She is most likely raging with hormones and feels like she is starved to death. Instead, make yourself useful and bring her an iced chocolate milk and some chili fries :)